Facing Your Deepest Fears: How to Overcome Them

What does fear look like?

Understanding the psychology behind fear is essential when it comes to conquering it

Fear is a natural human emotion that is triggered by perceived threats or dangers. It is a survival mechanism that helps us stay safe in potentially harmful situations. However, sometimes fear can become overwhelming and interfere with our daily lives if it feels too intense.

By understanding the psychology behind fear, we can gain insights into why we experience certain fears and how they affect us. It allows us to identify the root causes of our fears and develop effective strategies to overcome them...

Let’s face it, we are all afraid of something. Sometimes the obvious, trivial kind of things like being scared of spiders (which we can learn to live with and overcome and even laugh about from time), but what about your deep-rooted fears.

The ones that are knowingly or unknowingly holding us back from making decisions, moving forward with life, or are making you feel stuck, shameful or guilty?

Fear can look different to everybody, but it’s the subconscious things that we put off, and are often completely unaware of and sometimes too scared to acknowledge, that can cause problems in the long run.

If you suffer from self-doubt, indecisiveness, procrastination, or anxiety, these are all signs of fear. Often the body can’t tell the difference between real and a perceived threat, so it’s up to you and your actions that determine whether you act on those feeling or not.

Afterall, feelings are our guide. What we feel, we act upon.

But what if you consciously identified the ‘threat’ as harmless and did it anyway? Is it possible the outcome could be different from what you thought, positive even?

I realised recently that my biggest fear is to be seen, not just day to day or in the morning with no make-up on, but like really seen, my true being, to the depths of my core, who I really am.

I was hiding from myself.

Thing is, I don’t know what really being seen feels like. I don’t think I’ve experienced that in life before. And feeling like we’re seen is the most fulfilling and best medicine there is – it's what gives us the deepest meaningful connections with another human beings or living thing.

I believe that’s what strives us and motivates us to do things, the reason we continuously reach out to other people, accomplish things, and try and fulfil what we perceive as our main goal and purpose in life.

To give us validation, help boost our self-confidence or ego, and makes us FEEL.

Maybe that’s what I’m scared of, feeling. Feeling something, anything, as feeling doesn’t just stop at love, right? To feel, you must be open to every emotion there is.

Sadness, joy, guilt, shame, desire, they’re all feelings which need to be felt to be present.

I’m learning to be present means being still. To be open, and just be in the moment.

But being open also means being vulnerable, to be at risk to hurt and pain. It’s hard to accept it all. It’s intense.

It’s ironic, that the things that scares us are the things that we need the most.

So how do we overcome our fears?

Don’t they say to confront your fears, you have to feel the fear and do it anyway...?

Here are some top tips to help you get out of our own way when fear is holding you back.

Be honest with yourself

We’re all brilliant at coming up with our own excuses, but surely the knowledge in denying ourselves the thing that we know we need to do or what it is we want to achieve, is worse?

How can we accept that the reality of denying ourselves the life or thing we really want is worse than the fear of doing it? Surely the guilt or regret of not having it is harder to accept?

When you flip it, question it and be honest with yourself about what it is you really want, this might be the difference between thinking about doing it and actually achieving it!

This self-awareness will serve as a starting point for overcoming your fears.

Seek support and reach out to people you know and trust

Therapists or counsellors specialising in anxiety and fear disorders can also provide valuable guidance and support throughout your journey.

They can help you develop coping mechanisms, provide strategies for managing fear, and offer a safe space to explore and overcome your fears.

Get to know what makes you tick

Looking after and giving ourselves permission to do the things that we love is the best form of self-love there is - being kind to ourselves is the first step for letting go of the old version of ourselves and subconsciously setting standards and an idea of who we would like to become.

Setting boundaries of how we would like to be treated by others can also help keep you focused on your goals and making yourself a priority.

Practising exposure therapy and desensitization techniques

Developing a personalised fear-conquering plan

Overcoming your fears is hard, there is no easy journey or quick fix. Sometimes learning to be brave enough to see and visualise the life we want to lead is enough to help guide us and be a starting point to help identify what are fears look and feel like.

I encourage you to tap into your intuition and look within – all the answers are there.

It will take a while to find them and navigate through them, but be kind, be still, be patient and accept and love who you are. Have faith, and the universe will look after the rest!

Sending you lots of love :)

Identifying your specific fears is an important step in conquering them. Fear can manifest itself in various ways and may be different for each individual. It is crucial to recognise and acknowledge the specific fears that are holding you back.

The hardest thing is acknowledging the thing that you know is blocking you and preventing you from being where you want to be or doing the thing you have been putting off for so long.

Conquering fears can be a challenging journey, and it is important to seek support when needed. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups and through building a community of like-minded people who understand and appreciate you and people you value and trust.

Surround yourself with people who bring out the real you make them your best friends!

Finding a new tribe of people where you feel included, and part of the community is key to unleash new versions of yourself that you haven’t been brave enough to discover yet.

Discovering who you are, and what interests you is an exciting journey - finding new things that engage you, ignite you and you are good at, is important to help give you self-confidence and adopt a can-do attitude to help you make a change.

Doing the things we love and bring us joy, gives us a sense of fulfilment and helps keep us feel motivated. Adopting a positive mental attitude helps when we’re making important life changes and gives us the boost when we need it the most.

Exposure therapy and desensitization techniques are powerful tools for overcoming fears. These techniques involve gradually exposing yourself to the things or situations that trigger your fears, allowing you to become desensitized to them over time.

Start small and gradually increase your exposure to your fears. This could involve visualizing the feared situation, looking at pictures or videos related to your fear, or gradually facing the fear in real life. Remember to take things at your own pace and seek support if needed.

Once you have identified your specific fears, it is time to develop a personalised fear-conquering plan. This plan will outline the steps you need to take to overcome your fears and regain control of your life.

Start by setting small, achievable goals that gradually expose you to your fears.

Break down your plan into manageable steps and create a timeline to track your progress. Remember to be patient and kind to yourself throughout this process.